Life of the Rainers

Four Weeks Ago...

Our hearts are heavy. Many tears have been shed today.

Four weeks ago Jess and I faced our worst fear and experienced the hardest moment in our life so far. Four weeks ago today I woke up in the night coughing (at the hospital) and unable to breath normally. I told the nurse and dr. I thought I was getting a cold. The dr. was concerned. They were fearful I was mirroring Will's sickness. Jess was Grace Church's 2nd preview service (the church plant where Jess serves as the administrative pastor). My mom and dad were staying with Canon at our house. The dr. came in and told me they were going to get me a chest x-ray soon to see what was going on with my lungs. Jess rushed to the hospital and so did my mom.

I got a chest x-ray and the results were I had pulmonary edema (fluid in the lungs). Dr.s came in and said they might have to take Will by c-section if my breathing did not get better. Medicine to clear out the fluid was given and it would be a waiting game. We were shocked. We weren't prepared to have Will this early. We thought I would carry Will for another 12 weeks. We went ahead and told Jess's parents and my dad to come to the hospital. My sister was on her way from IL. Jess's oldest brother and family were on their way too. Jess's middle brother and family got a flight to come in from FL.

Jess climbed into the hospital bed with me to pray and to rest. As soon as he started praying I all of a sudden couldn't breath. I was struggling. Jess went and got the nurse. She came in and noticed I was not doing well. As she left to go call the dr. my in-laws and my dad walked in. Within 5 minutes I had papers in my hand to sign for a c-section. Everyone was rushing around - I was gowned and in the wheelchair within 5 minutes, said my goodbyes (except for my mom and Jess), and I was off to get prepped. We got to pre-op and I was getting IVs and signing for the epidural and I was off to the OR. What a whirlwind... It all happened so fast. Jess and I had no idea that when we woke up on February 6, we would be welcoming our son and most likely say goodbye to him as well. I can't even tell you the emotions and the fear I was experiencing. I was scared. I was anxious. I wanted to run. I wanted to escape the situation. I desperately wanted a miracle.

William Thomas was born at 3:31 p.m. The neonatologist looked over Will to make sure he had the condition they were expecting. They also took him to make him as comfortable as they could. The specialist brought him over to Jess, who was at my side, and handed Will over to him. Will was alive, but was in a comatose state. Will had gasped for air twice, but his lungs were not functioning. Jess told me to say hi to our little boy. I told Will I loved him and touched his feet. That was the only moment Will moved. He kicked his little leg. He was beautiful and perfect!

We will forever cherish our short time with our son. Will died at 4:31 p.m. We absolutely can not wait to be reunited with him in heaven! Thank the Lord we know he is being taken care of and being loved more than anyone could love him.

Our lives have been changed. These past 4 weeks have been challenging. Our faith has been challenged, but strengthened. Our family has become closer. This road has been hard and I know it will continue to be, but I also know our Lord is guiding us and holding us close.

Thank you for the continued prayers and not forgetting about our precious Will.

Rachel