Sweet William

When we moved into our rental house I told my mom she had to help me plant flowers in our flower beds once spring came. Once spring hit I knew exactly what flowers I wanted to plant, Sweet Williams. A great friend of mine let me know there were flowers called Sweet William after Will had died. My mom had heard of them and actually had planted some last year, but I had no idea. So anyway my mom was in one weekend and we set out on a mission to find Sweet William flowers to plant.

It was so therapeutic for me to be outside in the sun planting flowers that had meaning. I also loved spending time with my mom and learning more about planting flowers. Canon also had a great time helping. ;)

Here are a few pictures of our work. The pink ones are the Sweet William flowers. The white ones are petunias. I also have some pots that have Sweet William flowers in them as well. I love looking outside and remembering Will (even though I don't need flowers to remind me).

Rachel

90 Years

90 Years

This past weekend (May 19-21) we went back to my hometown to visit my family, but most importantly to celebrate my grandmother's 90th birthday! She is such a wonderful woman of God and I love her dearly! We left Thursday after lunch and was able to make it for dinner with my parents, my sister's family, and my aunt and cousin I hadn't seen in years. We stayed with my sister (she lives right next door) since my parents had a lot of family staying with them.

Friday we went to the assisted living place where my grandparent's live to have lunch, cake, and ice cream to celebrate on her actual birthday. That afternoon and evening a lot of family came in. It was so nice to see family I hadn't seen since my wedding or for 5 plus more years.

Saturday we had a huge family dinner (25 adults and 7 kids). My mom is a great host! That afternoon there was a come and go party for my grandmother with cake and ice cream.

The weather was beautiful the entire weekend, so we spent a lot of time outside. I LOVE my parent's place. It's where I grew up and I have such great memories. It's out in the country and it is just beautiful. Ahh I would love to build a house on their property like my sister did. Anyway, Canon loved being outside and playing with the kitties, bunnies, and riding the 4 wheelers. Bliss...

Here are my grandparents

My sister and Canon petting Harvey the bunny.

Canon loves his Pops.

Riding the 4 wheeler with my dad for the first time. Canon loved it!

What a wonderful weekend! Can't wait to go back!

Rachel

Intentionality #2

Prayer

In a previous post I wrote about attending a MOPS group. During one of the MOPS meetings a woman challenged us moms to allow our children to hear us pray and to also let our children know we are praying other than at meal times and bedtime. She gave an example of when she puts her children in time out she tells them she is going to go pray to ask God to give her wisdom before she comes back to talk with them.

This really convicted me. We do pray with and for Canon, but it is mostly before meal times and bedtime. I want Canon to see me praying for the little things. I want him to see and hear me pray in the car, at the store, while he's taking a bath, while we are playing, ect. I want to be intentional.

Today while Jess was at one of his life groups (he is leading 3 right now) Canon and I went to Will's gravesite. Canon loves to walk around the wide open space, so after tidying Will's decorations Canon and I set out for a walk around the cemetery. It was the most perfect evening for a walk. I have said this before, but the cemetery is beautiful and so peaceful especially in the summer. I noticed close to Will's gravesite there was a brand new grave. I felt saddened for the family, as the woman had just died (there was a temporary marker) and she was just shy of her 50th birthday. As Canon and I started walking hand in hand I started thinking about how I could use this walk as a teachable moment. I then thought that while we walked around the cemetery we could pray for all the families that had lost a loved one. We prayed for the family close to Will's gravesite that lost their family member and all the families that still were aching from their loss. We prayed the Lord would use the loss of Will to bring others to Him. It was such a sweet time with Canon and he just listened and when I said Amen he said Amen in his own words (he does that often).

Now getting to the man reason why I wrote this blog post. I am a little wordy tonight.

Recently I was on Angie Smith's blog (I read her book "I will carry you" about her experience of losing their precious baby girl Audrey) and randomly came across this blog post. Angie came up with 7 prayers that are scriptural to pray over her children - aloud. I absolutely loved reading this! It was exactly what I needed to read/hear since I wanted to start praying more for Canon.

So today I wrote out all of the verses on scrapbook paper. Tomorrow I will tape them up in their appropriate places I have designated to put them. I will put a verse next to Canon's crib, his dresser, highchair, door to the garage, in the bathroom, next to Canon's rocking chair, and by my bed. These cards will remind me to pray these verses over Canon and I will be reading them aloud in front of Canon. I am really looking forward to doing this! Jess is going to join in with me as well!

Please share any thing you do with your children that are intentional. I want more ideas on how to have teachable moments with Canon especially about Christ.

Rachel

Intentionality

Canon is now 19 months and I have been thinking a lot about "mothering" Canon.

One day recently I was getting ready for the day. Canon and I were meeting up for a play date to go to the Farmer's Market. I was blow drying my hair, putting my make up on, and trying to pick out clothes. While I was doing all of this Canon kept coming up to me and wanting me to go somewhere with him. I kept telling him, "I am trying to get ready Canon, it will have to wait". His persistence finally made me go with him. He took me to his room, picked up a book, and motioned me to sit down. The poor kid just wanted me to read to him. I sat down and read him a few books, only taking me 5 to 10 minutes. How many times do I blow Canon off because it is not convenient for me to stop what I am doing? I am not saying that every time he wants me to do something I have to stop what I am doing to make him happy. What I am saying is that day I started thinking about how many times I say to Canon - wait, not now, later, we don't have time for that, ect.

I want to be present in Canon's life as a stay at home mom. I don't want to just be around, I really want to be "present" in my children's lives. I am really trying to be conscious about sitting down with Canon and doing activities with him and having teachable moments with him. I don't want to miss opportunities to "teach" Canon because I am too busy keeping the house spotless, fixing the "perfect" dinner, or running around town too much. Again, there are things that need to be done and Canon does need to learn patience, but I want to be able to let the little things go and really be there with Canon.

Another area in thinking about "mothering" Canon is prayer. I have been thinking about that a lot lately too. My next blog post will be about this topic.

Here is Canon playing with ice while I was fixing that "perfect" dinner (not so much, but I was cooking). Thanks Erin Owen for the idea! It helps so much when I do need to get something done to give Canon an activity or a job. I can talk or sing to him while we are both busy doing our "activity".

Canon played with this bowl of ice for 45 minutes.

Rachel

Lions, and Tigers, and Bears! Oh My!

Jess and I took Canon to the Nashville Zoo today. They didn't have lions or bears, but it was still fun! This was Canon's first experience with a zoo. We had been wanting to take Canon to a zoo for a really long time, so we just decided to quit talking about it and just do it.

Canon was so well behaved and seemed to really enjoy it! It was such a wonderful family day. I think Canon's favorites were the elephants, bird house, and the petting zoo. The elephants were really close to the viewing area and they were very active. We told Canon Mr E. was an elephant too, so he kept pointing to the elephants and saying "E". Canon wanted to get in all of the areas where the animals were. He held out his hands like he wanted to hug the animals and tried to find a way in. ha! This boy has no fear! The bird house was fun. They were flying around everywhere and would land on you. Luckily none landed on us. The petting zoo had a bunch of goats roaming around and Canon had fun chasing after them, petting them, and brushing their hair. We also let Canon ride the carousel. He didn't show too much excitement while we were riding, but then when it was time to get off he was a bit upset.

We were all so worn out after getting home that all of us took a two and a half hour nap. It had rained off and on the last couple hours we were there, so we all couldn't wait to crawl in bed to get warm and sleep.

What a wonderful day!

Here's Canon on the carousel!

Reaching out for the birds. He would look at the animals and say "HI!" and wave.

Waving at the giraffe and wanting to hug it. :)

Esse the goat was very calm and let Canon pet her for quite a while.

Canon taking care of the animals by brushing them.

Looking forward to going back soon!

Rachel

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

This past Sunday, May 1st was Will's original due date. We had been preparing ourselves that it would be a tough day. It was. It was also a day of grace. An old friend had written me a few days before and encouraged and reminded me to look at it as a day of joy that Will was with the Lord. She shared this through her own personal story of her loss. I tried to look at it that way and it helped to get through the day. Of course I thought about the "what ifs", but also thought about the joy Will has, the joy I have knowing he's with the Lord, and the joy I will one day feel when I meet him again in Heaven.

On Sunday we had church. I was able to go to the service instead of serving (as a pastor's wife in a church plant you get pulled into nursery or whatever the needs are a lot), so that was nice. After lunch at home and naps we went to the cemetery (Jess's parents came as well). We brought balloons, flowers, and things from both sets of grandparents. The rain had let up and had turned into a beautiful afternoon.

Saturday my mom and I had gone to the grave site (she hadn't been there in a while) and we pulled up and Will's grave stone was in. That was a nice surprise. It was kind of nice to have his stone there on his original due date. I know that sounds weird, but I guess I just want his grave site to look nice. Instead of shopping for toys and clothes for Will I am always looking around for things to put out at the cemetery.

So anyway we stayed out at the cemetery for a while, just talking and letting Canon run. We let Canon let go of some of the balloons and he enjoyed watching them float away in the sky. We came home and got take out for dinner. It was a relaxing day and that is just how I wanted it.

I of course miss Will very badly and think about him constantly. I have good days and bad days, but the Lord continues to give us comfort and grace beyond our understanding.

Here are a few pictures from the cemetery.

Canon loves to run around the open space.

Thank you to everyone who called, texted, sent cards, or wrote us through email or fb to let us know you were thinking about us!

Rachel

Jess's Birthday

Jess's birthday was the 26th of April and we had a great time celebrating!

On his birthday Jess, Canon, and I went to Cracker Barrel for a late breakfast. Our family loves eating out for breakfast! Later that afternoon we met Jess' parents for BBQ and then came back to our house for blueberry cobbler. Later on Jess and I (while Canon stayed with Jess's parents) went to life group where we had a cookie cake, bible study, and fellowship.

Thursday (April 28th) my mom came in and Jess and I left for a night away. Our first night away since Canon was born. We have had a tough last couple of months, so Jess's birthday was a great excuse to get away and have some time to ourselves. We stayed at the Opryland Hotel. We had an atrium view room, it was beautiful! That night we went to P.F. Changs to eat and then came back to the hotel to walk around, get in the hot tub, relax, and watch a movie! We went to bed late and slept in. It was SO nice!! It was wonderful having Jess's attention without work obligations or a little sweet boy demanding our attention.

The next morning we went to eat at the Pancake Pantry in Nashville. We then went downtown and walked around until it was time to go home and see Canon! Canon had a great time with my mom. Later on that evening we all went shopping for flowers to plant in our flower beds (more on that later) and look at grills for Jess. Jess was given money from me and family to get a new grill. So after looking around we came home with a new grill!

It was a great week celebrating such a wonderful man that I have the privilege of calling my husband! Love you Jess!

On Jess's Birthday

The view outside of our room at the Opryland Hotel.

Rachel