Life of the Rainers

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

This past Sunday, May 1st was Will's original due date. We had been preparing ourselves that it would be a tough day. It was. It was also a day of grace. An old friend had written me a few days before and encouraged and reminded me to look at it as a day of joy that Will was with the Lord. She shared this through her own personal story of her loss. I tried to look at it that way and it helped to get through the day. Of course I thought about the "what ifs", but also thought about the joy Will has, the joy I have knowing he's with the Lord, and the joy I will one day feel when I meet him again in Heaven.

On Sunday we had church. I was able to go to the service instead of serving (as a pastor's wife in a church plant you get pulled into nursery or whatever the needs are a lot), so that was nice. After lunch at home and naps we went to the cemetery (Jess's parents came as well). We brought balloons, flowers, and things from both sets of grandparents. The rain had let up and had turned into a beautiful afternoon.

Saturday my mom and I had gone to the grave site (she hadn't been there in a while) and we pulled up and Will's grave stone was in. That was a nice surprise. It was kind of nice to have his stone there on his original due date. I know that sounds weird, but I guess I just want his grave site to look nice. Instead of shopping for toys and clothes for Will I am always looking around for things to put out at the cemetery.

So anyway we stayed out at the cemetery for a while, just talking and letting Canon run. We let Canon let go of some of the balloons and he enjoyed watching them float away in the sky. We came home and got take out for dinner. It was a relaxing day and that is just how I wanted it.

I of course miss Will very badly and think about him constantly. I have good days and bad days, but the Lord continues to give us comfort and grace beyond our understanding.

Here are a few pictures from the cemetery.

Canon loves to run around the open space.

Thank you to everyone who called, texted, sent cards, or wrote us through email or fb to let us know you were thinking about us!

Rachel