Canon's First Movie

On June 9th we took Canon to see Madagascar 3 for his first movie at the theaters. He is such a busy body that we weren't sure how it was going to go. We had been playing it up for a week, but unfortunately Canon was in a foul mood before we left for the movie. We were crossing our fingers this was going to go well. :)

We went on opening weekend, so we got there early to make sure we could get an aisle seat. We got popcorn and drinks and settled into our aisle seat and thankfully he was in a better mood. He was not sure about how loud the previews were and thought one of the previews was scary, but once the movie started he was excited and enjoyed eating his snacks. About 45 minutes into the movie he started getting restless and kept getting up and down out of his seat. Then he started wanting to jump on the stairs. Jess took him out a couple of times to walk around, but C was pretty much done. We packed up our things and headed out of the door, but Canon then got upset because he was missing the movie. We went back in and finished the movie. All in all it was a success, but I think we will wait a while until we go see another one in the theaters. The movie was super cute and I am sure we will be buying it when it comes out.

Canon in mid chew.

What a great family day!!

Love this and especially love the guy in the pictures. 

New Orleans Fun

We got back from the wedding late Saturday evening and then packed up the car Sunday right after Jess got home from church to head to the Southern Baptist Convention in New Orleans. Our trip to New Orleans was a little rough due to a little boy who we could not make happy. If we thought we were in the "terrible twos" before, we came to the realization in New Orleans we are for sure in "it" now. :) I told Jess during one of his tantrums (over me turning the TV volume up, ha) that I need to be fervently praying every day to parent Canon well. 

We did have a great time in New Orleans. The first three days were spent at the convention during the day. We had quite a few luncheons we went to for various things. My in-laws and Jess's oldest brother and wife were in NOLA as well, so it was good to spend time with them. We also were able to spend time with some dear friends while there. It is always so nice to be with them, since we are all spread out all over doing ministry. 

On Monday evening we walked to Cafe du Monde with some friends. Yum!!

Canon and Jess playing games while we waited for our food. 

Erin (my sister in law) and me at Cafe du Monde.

So delicious!

Being silly with daddy!

On Tuesday evening we went out with a bunch of our friends at a restaurant called Zae's. It was chaos with a bunch of kids, but a blast at the same time. 

Here are a few pictures of the chaos. ha! 

Wednesday evening we took the street cars with Jess's family to a part of the french quarter and ate at Brennan's. The food was delicious (and expensive).

So excited to be riding the street car. 

Riding back to the hotel from a fun evening. Canon was so attached to his Uncle Sam. He wanted Uncle Sam to hold him, push him in the stroller, and he ate breakfast on Sam's lap every morning while Sam fed him. :) 

On Thursday we headed to the New Orleans Zoo with Jess's family! 

Riding the train, C's favorite. 

Petting a turtle. 

Thursday evening we headed to dinner at Mulates with the Waggoner clan for food, dancing, and fellowship. Canon had a grand time dancing to the live music and playing with baby Judson. He was hilarious! 

Jill and I after dinner getting ready to catch the street car. 

Canon and Judson waiting for the street car. 

Jess and I realized we didn't have one picture together, so we decided to get one even though we were totally worn out. 

I had been to New Orleans went I was 9 and remember bit and pieces of the trip. I love New Orleans and would love to go back some day to explore more of the city and try more restaurants!

Blogger is messing up when I want these to post, so make sure you scroll down and see my last couple entries. ;)  Thanks!

Caught me off guard

Well I thought I would be in bed by now since I am so tired from our trip and we have a busy Sunday ahead of us tomorrow, but my emotions had other plans. For some reason tonight I found myself going back through my blog and reading the posts I wrote after Will died. Wow, what raw emotions. I am so glad I wrote the entries, because quite frankly I don't want to forget. I can barely can see the screen because my tears are filling my eyes. I miss him and wish he were here.

My blog posts lately haven't been about Will, but that doesn't mean I don't think about him and miss him daily. I have gone weeks without crying, but then there are days at at time I feel weepy and my heart hurts deeply. I don't think a mother (or a father) ever gets over their desire to be with their child, at least I know I won't. I still wish I would have had more time with him. I wish I would have taken more pictures. I wish I would have sang to him after he was born. I wish I would have studied his features more. I wish Canon had his little brother around. 

At the convention in New Orleans this past week (post to follow soon) a man that Jess and I did not know said he was so sorry for our loss and couldn't imagine losing a child. I held back tears the entire conversation. Here was this guy that we didn't even know and he was so thoughtful to bring up our son that we lost almost 17 months ago. He remembered and we got to talk about Will! People have moved on and they don't talk about Will as much because he is not here, but it is nice when people do bring him up because he is very much still a part of our daily lives. 

Since it has been almost 17 months, I do feel more secure in my grieving. I allow myself to still grieve. I don't allow myself to feel pressured to "move on" like I used to think other people wanted me to. I do still struggle with how other people view it acceptable to talk about him in social settings. I struggle with people asking me how many children I have or how many pregnancies this is. Some things have gotten easier, but some things remain difficult.  

The bottom line is I miss Will. I wish he were here. Jess and I are doing okay, but there are still some really hard moments and days. Very frequently we wonder what Will's personality would be, who he would look like now, what his relationship would be like with Canon, what his likes and dislikes would be, etc. He will always be our second child and we will always be grateful the Lord chose us to be his parents even though it was very brief. 

about the pregnancy

This pregnancy has been challenging at times, but I can for sure appreciate all the vomiting and infections more than I ever have with my previous pregnancies. It is amazing how each one of my three pregnancies have been so different. I am glad they all have been unique in their own ways. I am feeling great now, but Canon would imitate me "spitting out" (vomiting) when I was having morning sickness.  Every time I would head to the bathroom he asked me if I was going to "spit out". Bless his heart he has been so sweet through the pregnancy. He would rub my head, pat my back, and ask me if I was okay.

Canon was just shy of 16 months when Will was born, but he knows that we came home without Will and understands more than we give him credit for sometimes. He is very concerned about me and the baby and asks frequently if the baby is okay. As I was rocking him the other night (yes we still read books, sing, and rock before bed time) he asked me if "baby sister was going to come home". Talk about an emotional question to answer, but it was such a sweet time of us talking about trusting in the Lord and not being anxious. I think I told him everything I needed to hear. Not being anxious has been one of the most challenging aspects of this pregnancy. I struggle with it frequently and I or other people around me have to constantly remind me of God's word and His promises. 

Like I said I am feeling good now. I do have low blood pressure this time around, so I feel dizzy a lot and if I don't sit down and eat I feel like I am going to pass out. This is very doable!! I am now eating like a crazy woman. My last appointment I hadn't reached my pre pregnancy weight (lost around 10 lbs), but I know I am beyond it now. I again like pickles like I did with Will's pregnancy. I also really like peanut butter, raw carrots, spicy things, and sweets. The baby is really active. She really gets going at night when I am sitting on the couch reading or watching TV. I love when she kicks Canon when I am holding him. I remember Will doing that to Canon and it just makes me smile.

I have a pretty big appointment on Wednesday with the specialist that took over my case when we found out Will was sick. I am a little anxious about it, but glad he is seeing me.

We still don't have a baby name. It is narrowed down to two, but we can't decide which one we are going to go with. We are late baby namers. :)

Here are a few belly pictures. 

21 1/2 weeks

Canon got up on the fireplace to get his picture taken on his belly. This was unprompted. 

Kissing baby sister.

23 weeks

I have been enjoying this pregnancy and trying to soak it all up!

A best friend's wedding

I am sorry I have not posted in a very long time. We have been super busy and I have been a little overwhelmed with all that has been going on. I have many many posts that I will hopefully be doing this week. They might be a little out of order, but nonetheless I will get it done. :)

Last weekend (June 16th) one of my best friend's wedding. Kelly Jo was married in a beautiful outdoor wedding in Kentucky. Jess and I were able to go by ourselves overnight while my mom came to keep C. We had a great weekend!

I am so happy for Kelly. We were sorority sisters in college, she was actually my big sister in sorority. :) We also lived together for a semester in college. We have a lot of fun memories and she can always make me laugh! She was there in the beginning when Jess and I started dating and also stood beside me on my wedding day. I feel honored she asked me to celebrate her special day with her. 

Kelly and me at the rehearsal.

Jess and me at the rehearsal dinner at a German restaurant. 

Kelly Jo doing karaoke after the rehearsal dinner.

Like I said Kelly had an outdoor wedding, so they rented out a few cabins for the girls to get ready in. Kelly so graciously provided all of us to get our hair and make up professionally done at the wedding site. I had never had my make up professionally done before. I will say that I am in love with false eye lashes now!! We had a wonderful morning hanging out and getting pampered. It was a perfect day!

Kelly getting her hair done.

The makeup cabin.

Getting ready to meet her groom for the first time.

This picture was right before I almost passed out. I was having a hard time with the heat and my low blood pressure I am having with this pregnancy. We had a plan during the wedding if I was going to go down. ha! I did make it through the wedding just fine thanks to the awesome breeze!

The beautiful reception.

My handsome date.

This is where Kelly was married. 

23 week bump.

I am so grateful to have been a part of such a special weekend! 

Happy 5th Anniversary to my amazing husband. 

I am so thankful for Jess. He is a wonderful husband and father and I look forward to many more years together.