Humbled and Thankful

A week before Will's First Birthday we found out we were going to be parents again. To be honest it was very bittersweet. I had a lot of emotions. I felt so excited we were given the gift of another child. I was also grieving my sweet baby boy. I didn't want and still don't want this sweet baby to replace Will. Every single one of our children are special and unique in their own way, even Will who was with us for a brief moment.

I am now at the 20 week mark. We have now had four ultrasounds and the baby is very healthy. We did not find out Will had a birth defect until 27 1/2 weeks, so we will be having more ultrasounds to check on this sweet baby. We are meeting with my favorite doctor (a maternal fetal specialist that cared for us after Will's diagnosis) in four weeks. He will be doing a very detailed ultrasound, but we have been told the birth defect is not hereditary and most likely will never happen again. I will be having a scheduled c-section at 37 weeks due to the complications I had with Will.

Oh, and we are having a baby GIRL this time! We were a little shocked. We thought sure we would have all boys since we have had two already, but we are very excited to be welcoming a baby girl. After finding out it was a girl, I immediately became overwhelmed with the responsibility of dressing her cute with matching hair bows, tights, and tutus, but now I am okay with that responsibility. ;) I have really enjoyed looking at girl "stuff" and there is so much of it!

I didn't take many belly pictures with Will due to Canon being under a year old and moving 10 hours away, so this time around I am trying to be better at taking belly pictures.
This is at 18 weeks.

We are so thankful for this baby girl and humbled the Lord would allow us to have another baby! 

Prayer Needed

Update on Kaitlyn:

Kaitlyn is recovering at home and doing a little better each day. She still needs prayer for a full recovery and there to be no long term side effects. Thank you for your prayers!

Please be in prayer for our lead pastor's daughter, Kaitlyn. She is very sick. Jess is on staff with Ed and we love and respect this family so much! 

You can follow her story here.

Thank you for specifically praying for healing, the doctors/specialists, for a diagnosis, for the family, and for peace and comfort.

More Strawberries!

On Friday afternoon Jess, Canon, and I went strawberry picking. I remember going strawberry picking as a child and my parents also grew strawberries, so I have started the tradition of taking Canon to pick strawberries the last two years. 

It was a beautiful day and I think I was more excited than anyone. This was Jess's first experience in picking. Last year I couldn't look away more than a second before Canon would stuff his mouth with strawberries from the basket. This year he was into picking them off the plants and making sure his basket was full! I think he only ate one the entire time we were out there. He has eaten a lot at home and asks to eat them frequently. 

After picking two full baskets we sat in the back of our SUV and ate lunch I had packed. We then headed home where the washing, stemming, eating, and baking/cooking started of the strawberries. 

We have eaten so many strawberries in the last few days that I think we are starting to get a little tired of them. I froze a bunch, made a shortcake, and made freezer jam. I have eaten strawberries on my cereal and with ice cream or shortcake every day. 

I'll be ready again next year!

Couldn't have PICKED a better teacher

Last fall we decided to put Canon in a Mother's Day Out program one day a week. The first day I dropped him off to his class, last August, tears were running down my face (honestly I probably cried once every 4 or 5 weeks when dropping him off). I seriously miss him while he is gone for five hours, but it has been such a great decision. He loves going to "school" and being such a social child it has been really good for him (and for me). His teachers have been great and I am so thankful I have felt comfortable with them, because let's just be honest I have gotten a little neurotic about safety and such since Will died. 

With Mother's Day Out coming to a close I knew I wanted to get his teachers something, so I started searching pinterest. Pinterest had a lot of great ideas, but I needed something that would fit within our budget and would be fun! After sifting through the creative ideas I decided on the one that was my favorite and fit the budget. 

Here is the final product.

Things used:

Free Printable and White Card Stock for backing (I already had on hand)

Bath and Body Works Strawberry Hand Soap and Strawberry Antibacterial

(4 Soaps for $15 and 5 Antibacterials for $5) 

6 Pack of Crush Soda - $2.75 for a 6 pack

Strawberry Gum - $2.45 for a 3 pack of gum

Gift bags from Target - $0.59 a piece

 Each gift including the gift bag cost me under $7.00 a gift.

Here is the link where I got the idea:
http://eighteen25.blogspot.com/2012/04/berry-basket-gift-idea-free-download.html

Weekend Fun

We had the privilege of heading to Alabama to visit our dear friends, the Akins, this past weekend. It had been on the calendar for over a month and we were counting down the days. Jess went to high school with Paul and Kari and then I got to know them while we all were in NC during our time at seminary. Jess and I are so thankful for their friendship. They encourage us as a couple and as parents. 

The weather was beautiful, so we spent a lot of time out doors. Canon loved their big backyard and liked playing on their swing set. Canon of course loved their newest addition, Kai. He wanted to hold her at all times. He is so gentle and sweet to babies. 

Canon with Kai.

Walking into the zoo. I love this picture. All of the kids got along so well and enjoyed each other.

Riding the train at the zoo. After the train ride, the kids played in the zoo's splash pad.

On Saturday we packed up the kids and some food and headed to the State Park for some paddle boating.

Micah Man! He had a blast in the water!

The girls

At one point the daddy's had all the kids (except for Kai who was sleeping). Kari and I enjoyed the peace and quiet for a while. 

Canon and I enjoyed sitting on the back of the paddle boat while we splashed our legs in the water. 

Jess pushing the paddle boat while Canon prepared to jump in.

Jordan and Canon staying put while we unloaded the paddle boats.

We had such a great time of fellowship, catching up, and eating good food. It was so good to get away from our "normal" routine and be refreshed with people we feel comfortable with. 

Thank you Akin Family!

What you can do to help

After we lost our son, Will at 28 weeks we were asked by several people how they could help and what they could do. At the time I didn't really know. There really isn't anything you can do to take the pain away from losing your baby. But as the days went on and after family left there were things that people could do to help. 

In the last few weeks we have had several friends and acquaintances lose their precious babies. I am so burdened for them because I know the deep pain that follows loss and the road they are walking down. Even though we lost Will, I don't have the words to say. I have been thinking of things that helped and encouraged me then and now and how I can minister to them. When I heard of these friends losing their babies, I have wanted to call their friends and family and tell them how they can help. I wish I would have known someone that had gone through the same thing right when I lost Will that could have walked me through and given me advice. Now I know numerous people that have lost a child and you immediately seem to have a connection and have the same feelings or experiences. I am very thankful for the people that have reached out to me that have experienced a loss of their own. 

Here are a few ways people ministered to us and how you can minister to those you love who have experienced the loss of their baby.

• Commit (and really commit) to praying for them and let them know.
• Send cards and/or flowers.
• Make a meal for them. If you do not live close, send them a gift card to a restaurant, so they can have take out. Thinking about meals should be the least of their concerns.
• Get a group of people together and clean their house or do yard work. The husband is usually trying to be the strong one and holding the family together. Helping the husband out will give him more time to be there for his wife and family. 
• Ask about the baby, if appropriate, what the baby looked like, the birth story, etc. 
• Acknowledge the loss of their sweet baby and call their baby by name. One of the most hurtful things is not saying a thing and ignoring what really happened. You don't need to say much. "I am sorry" is enough. 
• Let your family or friend know if their baby was brought to your mind. I have had numerous people tell me they thought of Will when they saw a pinwheel in a store or in a yard and how those pinwheels brought Will to mind. I absolutely love hearing that! It makes me feel like he is not forgotten by other people.
• Give them time to be with their family and do not feel offended if they don't call you back or hang out with you right away. They are trying to find their new normal and it can take a while. 
• Send them things that they could remember their baby by. A few examples: Someone made me a bracelet that had a charm with Will's name on it with his birth stone. Also, someone sent me a willow tree box that had note cards with "Remembering Will" on the cards. 
• Remember the siblings, they are hurting too. Someone brought Canon a new stuffed animal when they brought a meal over. 
• Offer to watch their other children.

What to do months after their loss:

• Send cards (even if it is 7 months later) letting them know you haven't forgotten. 
• Continue to pray. 
• Ask to bring a meal again. Even if it has been months after losing their child there are going to be numerous days they still don't feel like cooking. There is no time limit on grief. 
• Remember to acknowledge the loss of their baby.
• Be sensitive around Holidays.

Please know these are only suggestions (and not limited to) and you do not need to do all of these suggestions. I do not claim to be good about doing these things. I am working on being more intentional about ways to minister to others especially the ones that don't always fit my natural tendencies. Pray about the best way to reach your family or friend, but if anything please don't ignore their loss. Please understand this is a very difficult road and grief has no time limit. 

I would love to hear how you have ministered to a family during a loss or how you have been ministered to.

Nashville Half Marathon

This weekend Jess and my brother in law, Bryan ran in the Nashville Half Marathon. This was Jess's second half marathon and Bryan runs in half marathons very frequently. 

My mom was able to come in town a few days before the marathon to hang out and help us out. She is very helpful when she comes (ironing, cleaning, cooking, playing with C) and we enjoy having her around. The day before the marathon my sister and her family came in town. We all went to the Spaghetti Factory downtown for lunch and then headed to the expo. Then the evening was full of getting Jess and Bryan ready for the morning and getting to bed early since we all would be getting up early.

Jess and Bryan left way before the sun came up and the rest of us headed to cheer on our boys a few hours later. I just love the atmosphere of the marathons. There were way too many people for my liking when trying to wheel around a 2 and 4 year old, but we made it work and it was a lot of fun. 

Jess and Bryan originally were going to run together, but Jess hurt his knee a few weeks ago, so they decided to go at their own pace. Jess's knee ended holding up and he finished with a good time for having a knee injury. 

I am very proud of Jess and his dedication!

Trying to find a place where we could see Bryan and Jess cross the finish line. I ended up standing in a huge flower pot (it didn't have any flowers in it) so I could see. Luckily we were able to see them both cross (they came in at different times).

Waiting patiently to see Bryan and Jess cross the finish line.

Jess is in the gray shirt.

Bryan and Jess

Proud of my husband.

C, Jess, and my niece

So thankful for a great weekend with family!