Ready
Over the past few weeks I have been really freaked out about giving birth and caring for a newborn.. I would lay awake at night just wondering how I was going to react and deal with the unknowns of labor and all the changes when we brought baby home. One evening I was in the nursery trying to put the snap n go stroller together and I just couldn't figure it out. I was getting really frustrated and Jess could tell I was struggling, so he came in to see how he could help. I immediately started crying and stating that I couldn't do anything by myself like putting the stroller together, so how was I going to take care of a baby. I told Jess I didn't think I could be a mom and Jess politely told me I didn't have a choice. I then proceeded to go to our bedroom and lay on the bed and just sobbed until I was able to regain composure and go back in the nursery and Jess helped me finish the stroller.
Since that night I have prayed that the Lord would prepare me for the task of being a mom and giving me peace about giving birth and giving me the flexibility to deal with all the unknowns of the birthing process. I really have such a deep desire to be a "good" mom that I am terrified to make a mistake. I know making mistakes is reality, but it still freaks me out. haha!
With all this said the Lord has been preparing my heart the last week or so and I can truly say I am ready for Canon to make his debut. I really have a peace about everything and feel pretty relaxed.I have been reading a lot the last couple of weeks and feel like I kind of know what is going on and I have been a sponge asking all of my "mommy" friends lots and lots of questions over the last few months and it is all starting to make sense and come together. I get excited more and more everyday and can't wait to be a mommy! The most important thing Jess and I can do is show Christ's love, love one another, do lots of praying, and do our best!
We covet your prayers through this whole birthing process and becoming parents.
Love,
Rachel
2 comments:
Rachel, I have moments like that am I still 20 weeks away from that reality. You are going to be a wonderful mom and God is going to equip you with everything you need to take care of Canon. What a blessed baby he is to have parents like you and Jess! I'm thinking about you guys and praying for you! I'll pray God continues to fill you with His perfect peace.
Rachel-
I still have days like that and I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old! I don't think you can ever feel confident enough in yourself to feel like an awesome mom! But praise the Lord that where we are weak his is strong!! You are going to great because you have his strength and you know you can rely on him in your weaknesses! Canon is going to be soooo blessed to have you as his mama!
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